In which I write a missings alphabet...

A selection of the things I miss…

A	Apples: we can buy Golden Delicious but I so miss a little Cox or a Pink Lady! Architecture: I wouldn’t describe myself as cultured but it would be nice to see some beautiful buildings.  Advance booking: and some form of timetabling so you don’t have to get up at 3am to wait for a bus that may, or may not, leave at 6am.
B	Baking: I have no oven and I miss both making and eating cakes etc! Being busy: I have hours at the office where I have nothing to do.  I’ve run out of “odd jobs” and forward planning.  Still, I have completed another phonics workshop with favourable reports J.  I’m so scared I’ll be a dead leg by the time I get back. L Brown bread:  food may become a common theme!
C	CATHERINE! Comfy chairs: (of which there are NONE in the whole of Ghana).  We eat off plastic garden furniture   and these are what most places have, including schools and bars.  The office has some rickety wooden chairs with torn padded seats which, frankly, make your bum sweat! Cheese and chocolate: we can get “laughing cow” and when we travelled we ate pizza.  I’m told you can buy a very expensive cheddar in Bolgatanga (but I’d have to brave the tro-tro for that).  You can also buy a small range of chocolate in Bolga but we haven’t…yet!     Braving the tro-tro! Coffee: real coffee! Cutlery: that doesn’t bend as soon as you look at it and that matches. Crockery: that isn’t melamine.
D	Debenhams: where we spend many a happy coffee break! Dust free environment: I’ll never complain about UK dust again…I will definitely get my lungs tested when I get back - they probably contain half of the Sahara by now! DVDs:  watching many, many episodes of Star Trek has its limits! Doors that fit:  we have many doors…not one of them fits.  I even oiled one of them with butter (well, not real butter, you can’t get that).  It worked too – that door doesn’t squeak any more!   We tried to block up the holes to keep out the mosquitos!   Dishwasher: well, I don’t miss this as much as you might think (given that I have nothing better to do!) Driving: in my car (NOT the bike!); driving on the left; following the highway code!; not being so aggressive on the road (perhaps I forget what UK roads are like but we are not constantly blowing our horns to frighten others out of the way!)
E	Equipment: reliable and available resources.  Teaching under a tree with not even a chair is a bit wearing.   The office photocopier is an ancient machine held in the Director’s room and operated by the office clerk; you can’t just use it – well, the paper is restricted for a start.  You even have to ask to use the stapler in the office (and there are often no pins (staples))! Electricity: the fairly frequent power cuts have not so far been a serious problem ( I think I will need to revise that when the 40 ° temperatures arrive and the fan is not working), it’s more the fact that we are gradually running out of sockets that work.  I nearly blew up the house this morning when the iron plug started smoking at the wall.  Most of the sockets crackle when in use…perhaps that’s why my hair is so curly!
F	Friends and family: normal conversations (well normal for us!) and genuine affection!  Company that’s on the same wave length and gets Paul’s jokes! Fields: the typical English green field complete with hedge or dry stone wall.  The rolling countryside.  The hills and mountains and general undulation.  Ah!  There are hills in the distance which create the border between Ghana and Burkino Faso.    The local hills just aren't the same!    We even climbed one or two of them quite recently, getting up at 5.30am to avoid the heat of the day.     Freezer: none of this going to the crowded, noisy market every 3 days in the boiling heat!
G	Garden: I miss pottering and pruning! Glass: decent glass to keep out the dust (though I accept that you need the open spaces to let the breeze in and stop you from boiling).  Also to shut out the noise…especially at 4 am when the local churches compete at full volume!  Windows and breezes in our living room!
H	Hot water: it’s not too bad having to boil water in pans…and cold showers are ok in this climate, but just occasionally hot water on tap would be a treat. Hairdryer:  my hair has not been cut since September and is totally wild!
I	Internet: it is SO much better than it was when we first arrived but still lacks speed and reliability (it has crashed as I type).
J	JUDITH! Jogging: (or “trotting” as the locals call it) at the moment we are doing a little circuit at 5.45 am! 2 or 3 days a week.  However, it has been, and will again become, too hot, even at this hour; also, when it rainy season comes again, the nasty mosquitos will be out at this hour and we’d be trotting in the dark through deep puddles.
K	Karate: we are practicing in our lounge at the weekends for about an hour, again in the slightly cooler early morning (though not quite so early…it is the weekend even if it is hot!) but I’m sure we are getting into bad habits!
L	Language: yes they speak English here but it’s definitely Ghana English.  You hear more of the local languages really; although there are about 80 Ghanaian languages, most people can understand each other. Luxury: any sort would do!
M	MARGARET! Meat, milk and mugs: I have not been tempted to buy my meat live to butcher at home, nor yet to frequent the local butcher who has an open stall on the market complete with flies (although I have been pleasantly surprised at how relatively insect free it is here…I may revise this in the wet season when the mosquitos abound).  The choice of milk is dried, soya or evaporated – we use all 3.  We have 2 mugs, of a vulgar sort.  We could buy more…but they would be the same vulgar sort! Medical care: so far we have only been witnesses to this, thankfully not having needed it ourselves.  However, there are very few doctors in the Upper East (nobody wants to come here) so most treatment is given by health technicians (Paul equates them with first aiders!) and seems to be very inconsistent and is accompanied by lots of injections.  Yuk! Music: Paul has not listened to anything on his ipod since we arrived and I have only occasionally used my music.  Somehow it feels quite incongruous here.  There is a lot of music in the environment: rap and reggae in the streets – played through enormous, distorting speakers at full volume; church – usually in Kusaal with wannabe young drummers; if you’re lucky you can sometimes pick up some real African rhythms and local beats which are quite nice to listen to for a short while. Make-up: haven’t worn any of that since our arrival.  I’d look really good with it streaking down my sweaty face!
N	News: I’m not one for news, it generally goes in one ear and out the other, but we’ve heard barely any since our arrival.  I suppose that means I don’t need to make excuses for forgetting it all!  I really enjoyed my mini headlines on Twitter…
O	Oven: Our cooking arrangements do not include an oven.
P	Planning and organization: none of that to be found here!  Most jobs are completed as a last minute rush because there is no system of forward planning.  The Ghana Education Service bought diaries for the teaching staff this year.  I haven’t yet seen any of them in use.  And they are non-existent in the office! Privacy: none of that either!  Children stare at us through the non-windows!  People call unexpectedly and you have to drop everything to “greet” them (which can take a while!).    You can see where the children line up to stare at us!   Pavements: I am so fed up of sandy toes!  I’m also fed up of dodging bikes and motor bikes coming from all directions on the pavement!  Away from the one main road, of course, there is no pavement, just dirt! Pointless!: relaxing between jobs with a cuppa in front of the TV.
Q	Quality: there is none…in anything!  Well, actually I need to revise that.  Yesterday I spotted the first articles exhibiting any degree of quality craftsmanship.  They were lavishly polished and ornate.  They looked as if they were made with love and care.  What were they? Coffins. Quiet:  there is none.  Ghanaians are incredibly loud!
R	Rain: I appreciate that the UK is fed up of this – perhaps you could send some here! Rug: family joke…how is my rug? Recipes: I didn’t usually follow them anyway but they were a comfort blanket.  We are producing reasonable results with our guess and hope technique: jam, pancakes, potato cakes, fudge.
S	Structure: routine, organization – the things I’m good at! Singing: there is often too much environmental noise to have an effective sing…and also if I sing out then all the neighbours can hear. L And, like I said, we don’t often put on our own music.  However, I did quite a bit of singing during my phonics INSET programmes!  I’m looking forward to a return to choir and a bop around the kitchen. Supermarkets: I never thought I would say that I missed a supermarket…all that beautifully packaged and uniform food that hasn’t been sitting in the blazing sun all day…pushing round that trolley on a smooth, clean floor with the air-conditioning keeping you cool…no jostling between the aisles.  And even the prospect of a cappuccino at the end.  Bliss!   Jostling at the market.
T	Teaching:  all that planning and busyness!  Well, perhaps not that aspect of the job!  I miss the interaction with the lovely All Saint’s team and with my class.  I miss the purposeful atmosphere and knowing where and how I fit in.  Most of the time I have no idea what’s going on here! Toilets: we have a flushing toilet in our house.    Here it is (I won't show you the others)   Several compounds close by will share a toilet built equi-distant from their houses.  I have not investigated these.  At the office, there is an open air block set back from the main building, with a partition (male/female).  There is a floor and a pipe which drains into the field.  A more substantial building further afield contains a few holes over the top of a large pit…but nobody in their right mind would “go” there!  It is quite usual to see both adults and children squatting in the field…after which the local pigs queue up for the delicacy!  So, we are now experts at crossing our legs!
U	Underwear: the idea of the well fitting bra barely exists.  Many ladies don’t bother at all and I can understand why – it’s too hot!  There are stalls in the market that sell them; they are all hanging loose.  Finding one with a label could take all day…and just how you are supposed to try them in the middle of the market beats me.  I think that’s why many don’t fit!  So…here’s hoping my underwear lasts! Understanding: what’s going on, how to find out, where to go for things.  Some kind of written signposting would be so helpful.  Ghanaians can’t say they don’t know, it’s a culture thing, so they make up an answer where required, which means you could be on a wild goose chase!  We’d also like to learn more of the local language but there are no books and no teachers and the locals have no concept of writing down or practicing useful phrases with you!  Very frustrating!
V	Variety: We eat some form of tomato every meal because there are lots of them around all the time.  Otherwise you eat what there is at the market and this depends on the season and which lorries have passed through the town.  Watermelons are at an end; pineapples don’t make it as far as Zebilla; mango season has not yet begun; bananas and oranges are available after a delivery.  It’s the same with the veg.  Onions are in abundance just now.  We tend to eat lots of stews with the vegetables of the day and protein from a tin (meat/fish) or local beans.   Paul has now discovered that a variety of donuts can be purchased for next to nothing and he is trying hard to keep the local cooks in business!
W	Water: we are in the routine of filtering and boiling all our water for consumption and we have a good system for storing it.  Well, I hope it’s good – we haven’t had to test it yet.  Fortunately our polytank of water is filled by a working pump on a regular basis.  Several pumps do not work and have not been fixed for many months.  Many of our neighbours collect water from their nearest bore hole (of which there are many dotted around).  There are problems with our tank in that the stop cock doesn’t work so it has to be turned on and off manually at an underground tap and sometimes we forget with a consequent overflowing and wastage of precious water.  We haven’t yet had a water bill…   The trusty water filter!
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